Lyrics:
We were leaving Las Vegas
when one flew over the cuckoo's nest
It came from outer space
I shouted abre los ojos
my Ántonia, hit the deck
She's so lovely I thought
she's the one I saved john travolta the fragments for
my moon over parador
my barefoot truist championship leaderboard contessa
The craft passed in a green flash
and she winced like Bob Chipeska
Then we ate some wild strawberries and puffed on some yesca
She muttered call me Godard but I've got nothing but contempt for bigots and tyrants
I said keep talking Love, when your titties ripple, I hear sirens
transport me to the place beyond the pines where the red fern grows
and when my soul starts to crackle like the cherry of a clove
hold me tight so all the jackals get chilled to the bone
'cause they see your love makes me harder than stone
And she's nice with knives too so don't play on her phone
or she'll keep it real like Brenda Johnson in the zone
just joshing you know, she only strikes in self defense
and she never lashes out at assholes, she gave that up for Lent
She screamed your talk is two pence, I'm gonna swear and take the bench and tell the world about your stench so they'll lock you in a pressurized tent and burn you fifty percent like Harvey Dent
Retorted I oh yeah well bang the drum slowly my chérie amour and I'll keep rowing 'til we keel over or come ashore
I sensed clear and present danger from the moment that I met you, I bet you don't remember that day in December when you threw flowers for Algernon in the blender
But of course I recall just as sure as hope floats, I cheated on your final just so I could get your goat
all my memorization is rote and all your words are furry
She lost it on that note, cackling like Tim Curry as she flipped through a worn copy of I, The Jury on one knee
You are a lout she whispered I'd like to flog you with a discus and forge your name into Obama's hit list, keep testing me like litmus and I'll cut your calories like fitness
your trousers smell like peat moss and you're always dialing sloshed
You are a banshee I replied, a cookie full of cyanide, a fish left flopping at low tide,
you caused Apartheid and the Crusades and global warming
you are the reason I drink coffee in the morning
Touché she repeated and proceeded to smirk like Norman Reedus
and where were you when they murdered Jesus and blew Hiroshima into a million little pieces?
And where were you when they sent Elián back to Cuba and where were you when that elephant took a dump in my tuba?
And where were you the night they drove 'ol Dixie down and where were you when Amelia Earheart drowned?
I was shoveling snow or churning butter or pummeling toast or taking cover or chasing ghosts or trimming blubber
Excuses, excuses, you had your head in the sand when they tied all those nooses
Listen sister and I'll tell you what the truth is, the view from the top isn't very picturesque and all the problems in your life coalesce into one big mess
Oh brother, you're such a fucking upper, I hate to cut you off but my clit gets soft when you flapping like a moth
Ding, ding, that's it, monkey's dead, show's over,
you euthanized Clifford while they teased him with a gopher
Oh yeah well you stinkfingered Pinkerton and pilfered Pooh's butt hole, you sucked off the Berenstain Bears in front of Morocco Mole
I've had about enough of you and the filth that keeps flowing from your pie hole, let's put a pin in this one and go smoke another bowl
Hallelujah hollaback, quit cleaning my dildos with your nose
Don't tell me my business devil woman, I'm careful and it never shows
I see through your facade like panty hose, you're wet behind the ears like Slater circa Name of The Rose
You may think I'm bluffing, but before I blow these beans up your muffin
you should probably know a little something
I ride my righteous indignation like I'm Bucky O'Hare
Mad as hell and I ain't gonna take it anymore, no how no where
I prepped some Fight Club bisque, some Dirty Work snares
I programmed the barbies to grift and gave them thick body hair
I taught the Grinch how to kiss and convinced the Cynics someone cared
I hemmed and hawed by the grace of God, I cloaked my fever in the London fog
I brought a piece to the Middle East to bury it where it belongs
I caught some lice at the very least as I passed through the gathering throngs
I swabbed the metaphysical deck and battened down all the hatches
I smacked fire out the Klan and filed down all their matches
I slew the bloodsuckers that taught us to climb like crabs
I smote the ghoul who stole the fuel from the Arabs
I creamed the cad who took the cheddar and ran
I vetoed the plan to make us think with our glands
I turned the tabloids into tapestries and the Crime Times into compost
I whipped Honey Boo Boo into shape and then laura chimenti ate crêpes with the provost
I was around when the swine swatted Rodney and the answering flames burned high in L.A. (Lyrics continued in comments...)
